How To Write Your Own Wedding Vows 💍🖋️

To write or not to write…that is the question! I get asked about whether to write your own vows or not all the time. Truth is, there is no right or wrong answer. For some of you, this is your time to fully express your love for your partner and share the reasons you are choosing to commit to them. For others, this is something you’d prefer to keep private and for that reason you may choose to do the regular vow template provided by the registrar. Whatever you pick, just make sure it feels right for you both as a couple.

I have personally always wanted to write my own vows but, that being said, still struggled when it came to actually writing them a few weeks before my wedding. I kept starting and stopping, wondering if it made sense or if it was ‘good enough’. I trawled through Google and YouTube for tips and inspiration and still felt stuck. Three weeks later I managed to come up with something that summarised my relationship journey, my feelings about Nim and what I was promising him from that day onwards. I’ve pulled together these tips that I wish I had read before starting mine, so hopefully you will procrastinate less than I did during my vow-writing whirlwind. 😂

1) Reflect on your relationship

Take some time to reflect on your relationship. Think about the experiences you've shared, the memories you’ve made, the challenges you've overcome, and the reasons why you love them. Consider what makes your relationship unique and special and why you want to spend the rest of your life with them.

2) Set the tone

Decide on the overall tone you want your vows to have. Do you want them to be heartfelt and emotional, light-hearted and humorous, or a combination of both? Consider your personalities and the tone you want to set for your wedding ceremony.

3) Brainstorm ideas

Grab a piece of paper and just write the first things that come to your head about your partner (a glass of wine often helps with this!). This can be why you love them, what makes them special, your favourite memories together, the things that have made you closer and what you want for your future together. Don’t worry about a structure just yet as that will fall into place once you have the main content ideas.

4) Tell your love story

This is a great time to reminisce about how you met (a lot of the guests may not even know this story!), what made you fall in love and the way your life has changed for the better since your partner has been in it. Try using specific anecdotes and memories. for example what your first impression was to make your vows more personal.

5) Express your love

Take the time to express your love and appreciation for your partner. Tell them what you love most about them, how they make you feel, how they’ve supported you and the ways they inspire you. Try and be specific and sincere in your expressions of love.

6) Make promises and commitments

Make promises and commitments to your partner for your future together. This can also be in a more serious way (for example never giving up on each other even during the tough times etc) or in a more light hearted way (for example I said I’d promise to be there for Nim during the good times, the bad and the times when Arsenal lose- if you have a football loving partner you will get it LOL) Think about the values that are important to both of you and the kind of life you want to build together. Examples could be bucketlist things you want to achieve together or wholesome things like wanting to have children or own pets together.

7) Incorporate quotes or poems

If there are meaningful quotes, poems, or song lyrics that resonate with your relationship, you can consider incorporating them into your vows. I started my vows off with the quote Nim used at the beginning of his proposal speech which was “Once in a while, right in the middle of an ordinary life, love gives you a fairytale..”. I absolutely love this quote (being the hopeless romantic I am!) and I couldn’t think of a better way to end my wedding planning journey with than the quote Nim started it with!

8) Structure & Edit

Once you have your initial draft, take the time to edit and refine your vows. You may want to consider a vague structure of a beginning, a middle and an end. For mine, I started with a quote, the middle part was our love story and I ended with my promises and commitments I wanted to make to him.

8) Add personal touches

Consider adding personal touches to your vows, such as inside jokes or shared references that are meaningful to both of you. These could be your favourite things to do, see or eat or the things you have in common that you both relate to.

9) Set a rough time limit

Make sure they flow well and are within a reasonable time limit (around 1-4 minutes per person). Practice reading them to see how they sound and make any necessary adjustments. You also may want to consider sending them to a mutual friend who will make sure they are both a similar sort of time. I have been to some weddings where one set of vows are 30 seconds and the other set of vows are 4 minutes and it can make it seem a bit unbalanced.

10) Practice

If you feel comfortable, practice your vows and consider memorising them. However, it's perfectly fine to have them written down and read from a card or vow book during the ceremony. The most important thing is that you speak from the heart and really take in this amazing moment of officially declaring your love and commitment to your partner.

Hope that helped you a bit! Do let me know if you’re enjoying the Pristine Events: Bridal Diaries so far and what other things you’d like to see!

Happy Planning! 🤍

Love,

Priya