Groom's 1st task

Groom Tasks (Part 1 of 1)

Before we begin, please be aware that this newsletter is written by Nim. Which means that this will either be infinitely more useful than any of the other newsletters OR a joke. Feel free to interpret it as you wish.

Once the dust has settled, she’s said yes and people you haven’t spoken to in 7 years wish you congratulations on Instagram, its time for you as the groom to get started. Started on what you might ask? Well, whatever Priya (or your bride) assigns you. Whilst the split of tasks can be highly variable, one of the few things you definitely have to do is pick your groomsmen.

1) Do you have any friends?

You either have 25 close male friends in a Whatsapp group who could all arguably be part of your groom party (not sure if thats an actual term but bridal party sounds odd when its just referring to groomsmen) or you have no mates. There’s really no in between.

So how do you decide who to pick. Picking a few good looking mates could really bring up the average across the group. Or picking a few less fortunate looking ones could equally make you stand out. But don’t pick them based on how they look because that would be bizarre.

2) Key players

Every group needs a leader. The fact that you’re reading this newsletter for tips on your groomsmen probably means you are not that leader. You need a guy who you can delegate tasks to and you know they’ll be executed. You’ll probably have to accept that they’ll give their two cents far more often than you would like, but having someone who will actually get things done is essential. From planning the stag, to helping to usher guests, your rat pack group of mates need guidance.

Your fiancé’s brother, your sister’s husband or perhaps your actual sibling. You sort of have to make them a part of the wedding but its important to actually get them integrated into the group early on. Just pre warn your other friends if they’re a bit odd. With weddings as with life, sometimes you have to just play with the cards your dealt.

He’s been to more weddings this summer than you’ve probably been to in your life. But having someone in your group who still remembers how to speak to women is going to be key to getting the bridal party to mix well. Yes, he might get too close to your mum and yes, its unclear how much of what he says is true, but you need someone to break down barriers at the wedding and he is going to come in handy.

This one is absolutely non negotiable. You need a wild friend. If you haven’t got one now, you need need to start going through your phonebook or delay the wedding somehow. Whether its your stag, a pre wedding event or the big day itself, you need to be able to rely on someone bringing the energy. This is the guy who is on holiday more than he is at home, indefinitely #opentowork, has been arrested for unconfirmed reasons or all of the above. Just be warned that the Gaffer needs to keep him in check because there’s a high probability he can also ruin the whole day.

3) Roles and Responsibilities

Groomsmen have very little (if any) responsibility. They’re there to torture you on your stag, stand next to you whilst you exchange vows and laugh at your in-jokes during the speech.

It’s very different to being a bridesmaid (I’ve been told). You really don’t need to expect much of them. As long as they aren’t flakey, can grasp basic instructions and are happy to wear a tie themed to your centrepieces, you’re all good. You can probably assign the order of how they’re entering to Burna Boy on the week of the wedding.

4) Best Man

Now this is can actually be quite tough. You’ll have a friend you’ve known the longest, a friend you’ve travelled with extensively or a friend who knows your deepest darkest secrets. Just don’t pick the latter.

Happy Planning!

Love,

Nim

PS If you chuckled/broke a smile at any point reading this, then stay tuned for my next newsletter on Best Man speeches. I promise it will actually provide (some) value.

Quote of the week. Husbands are like wine. They take a long time to mature